If I am blogging, it means that I am not working at night. These days, I could barely have any time to myself but tonight, I just want to be lazy and let the things pile up a bit in the morning. Any emails received after 6pm can be attended tomorrow officially at 9am, which in almost all official employment contracts stated in black and white - working hours from nine to six.
The step is quite steep to take but I've the security and I'm sane enough to sensibly take the leap. Today, there's a very inspiring article featured in the organization's intranet and it's definitely talking to me. Either I ignore the signs and be forever miserable or take heed and leap, and who knows, the latter would turn out to be a blessing.
Here's a story which I would like to share with you:
"The Chains That Bind"
The circus elephant demonstrates what happens to us when we become tied to a habit. When an elephant is a baby, a strong chain is applied to one leg to keep it within a certain range. The baby elephant pulls against the chain, trying to escape, but is unable to do so. After many attempts, the baby elephant finally realizes that she will not be able to break the chain and so does not continue to pull at it.
As an adult, the elephant needs only to be restrained by a small chain that could be easily broken by the very strong elephant. However, she doesn't even try and remains within a limited circle. She has been fooled into thinking that she is limited to this small area and does not attempt to push beyond it.
This scenario demonstrates how we are restrained by our habits and limited thinking. When we meet resistance often enough, we begin to assume that our world is limited. Like the elephant, we are fooled into thinking that we are restricted to a certain lifestyle, because we have become accustomed to it.
Are you tied to old ideas and old thought processes? Do you believe that you must remain stuck in a confining, unsatisfying job merely because you have roped yourself into believing that you can't get promoted? Have you tied yourself up with the belief that this is all there is to life? Have you restricted yourself because you believe that as you get older, your body doesn't work as well as it used to?
Have you limited yourself in other ways, because your habitual thinking has imprisoned you in a cell with a window that only allows you to gaze upon a more desirable world? If so, do you really want to be confined to this very limited space, or do you want to advance to that which you desire?
It can be done! How? By recognizing that you are the one who accepted the restraints and you are the one who must remove them. It begins by asking yourself, "What do I really want and what am I willing to do about it?" If you feel resistant to making changes in your life, ask yourself what you will gain by remaining tied to the current circumstances. Then ask yourself how your life would change if you broke through the resistance and moved on to a different way of being or living.
Desire and imagination are the tools that will free us from an undesirable situation. This is the truth, and the truth shall set you free.
It’s Chayan’s birthday today and that explains why all of us; dad, mom, HM and I are in the Philippines now. All of us arrived in Manila on Friday morning at about 5am, 30 minutes ahead of schedule. By 5.30am, Manila is already brightly lit like 8am in Malaysia. It was rather hectic and exhausting yesterday as after I returned from my offsite meeting at 6pm, I quickly rushed to send Captain Midnight to the pet shop for 6 days boarding, pick up my parents, have dinner and rush home to pack my clothes. By 10am, we were already on the way to the airport and... wa lah.. we are now in Manila.
Upon arriving at the hotel at 5:30am, my brother, CM brought us to McDonalds and that was then I lost my husband to McD’s. He was thrilled to find that McDonalds serves pork ham in their McBreakfast. Ever since then, he will keep bugging me to go to McD’s. Both HM and I didn’t joined my parents, CM, SIL and Chayan for lunch as we snoozed away till evening where we went to Mall of Asia for dinner. That was then I realized that civilization exists in the Philippines but due to the enormous poverty gap, most of the people I see on the road are the impoverished ones who live in jeepnes and under the bridges like vagrants. It’s quite sad to know the corruption and bribery of the government has caused the standard of living lowly poor and demeaning. When I landed in the airport, I was overjoyed to know that I’ve set my foot on the land where Lea Salonga was from but upon seeing the people on the streets, now it makes sense why even Lea Salonga lives in the states and not here. If I am a rich Filipino, I wouldn’t even want to stay here unless I am a cunning, sugar-mouthed politician.
On Friday, rather than waking up at 6am, HM and I slept through till 9:40am. I missed McBreakfast and there’s barely any quality WiFi around the island since the hotel charges everything. The hotel charges about Ps2,000 to access the hotel WiFi so both HM and I said forget about it. I can’t be paying over RM$150 just for internet. We’re not so addicted at all and my office work can wait. I applied legitimate leave anyway. We went to Chow King for lunch and the fried chicken was delicious. HM begs to differ about his sweet and sour pork though because the portion was so extremely small, even baby Chayan can finish the whole portion all by himself. After lunch, we went to Makati area for shopping spree. HM and I walked to the old wing so we didn’t really get to see branded shops until at the end of our shopping trip. I spotted Bottega Venneta outlet but HM just can’t help but to pull me to the exit door. For dinner, CM brought us all to Max’s Restaurant where we had Filipino authentic food. We had pig’s trotter, prawn fritters, sour and salty soup with prawns and fried chicken (Don’t ask me what’s it’s called in Tagalog. If I knew, I wouldn’t have generically titled all the dishes). One thing I noticed is that the drinks here are so extremely sweet. I find the drinks and desserts are so offensively sweet despite I have sweet tooth and no wonder the Filipinos will be diabetes when they hit 50.
Anyway, all in all is still fantastic to be away from work, traveling, sight-seeing, eating (lots of purple colored ube cake – my fav), shopping and spending time with my family. Love ko to !
I've gotten my wedding gown. Keith Kee kicks ass! I'm amazed that he has the designs that I've in mind. So excited! *Squeal*
Now I can concentrate on other items in the checklist. Next - dress for the bridesmaid.
Even one of the Bronte sisters can't tear my mind away. It's just so screwed up and tiring. I need a break from the mundanity and dullness. A beach holiday would be nice. And an interesting book in one hand. And a glass of delicious cocktail in the other hand. And when night falls, I can move my body and dance like the sun will never come out. That would be fantastic. But all these sound like a fantasy, far away from reality. Bummer. If only Captain can talk to me in sweet tiny baby voice, hitting senses back into my head, I wouldn't even be talking nonsense right now.
Portal* must be the worst movie ever produced but I stayed and watched till the closing credits. Wasn't really torturing after all I guess but at my current state of mind, I can even sit throughout male gay porn. No pun intended.
Captain has grown as his body is no longer kitten build. Just few days ago when he was cleaning his balls, I saw something pinkish protruded from the hairy bags. It's about time to hunt for possible female british shorthair for him. I am offering Captain up for stud service. Anyone would be interested? Please, only cats.
I switched on my laptop because I wanted to file my income tax return but decided to delay it for another few more days. I left most of the receipts - books, parents' medical receipts, donations, etc upstairs and I was way too lazy to lift my ass up and climb the stairs. Frankly speaking, it's getting so much easier now after they introduced the e-filling but it's still painful to be taxed. It's not easy make a living isn't it? You work so hard, pay so much for utilities, essential goods, your bloody existence in fact and when you think you have extra cash in the bank to spare for a well-deserved breakaway around this time, you've to file income tax return. Didn't we all shed tears and sweat and break few wrinkle lines for every single penny in our bank??? We worked and we're paid deservingly for pur efforts so for 'those' who didn't work at all, why must we pay them? Plus, we know the money is spent on 'stupid unexplainable holidays to i.e. study trip to Disneyland'. Yea right T, you think we'll believe you.
Whatever it is, I am not in the state of mind to blog. I should just stop now and go to sleep before I start talking animately about politics.
*I wonder if I really watched a movie called Portal since I can't seemed to find the movie via google. It's a movie about breeding the son of devil. Perhaps, this movie doesn't even exist. I was only imagining it.
Driving home is the time when I enjoy most after a long day of energy taxing and mental draining goings.. Listening to my favorite deck of CDs in the audio player while I cruise on the highway half awake. Car still reek of the fresh leather smell. I'll leave the office with joy at the end of day but as soon as I open the door into home, I just want to crash and hope time will just stop for a moment or few hours. I don't want my night to end so fast. I want to spend more quality time with my DH and Captain, more than just sleeping in the same room and breathing the same air. I want to catch up with what's happening outside than mine. But I'll tuck myself in come midnight for there's the same routine, same issues starting all over again the next day.
Sorry. I didn't mean to make everyone worried. I just needed time alone. The fever is not helping and it's wrong of me to go somewhere without leaving a trail. Luckily, there's no big bad wolf involved but I just needed time alone from the world.
I'm sorry.
I can hardly roll my eyes now whenever I hear empty cans rattling during meetings. I just don't bother. Moreover my color contacts might accidentally pushed away from where it's supposed to be and cause discomfort to my eyes.